God's Truth Not Smooth Words

Blessings In Disguise ~~ faith testimony

Blessings In Disguise ©copyright 2005 Bonita M Quesinberry, R.C.


Is there anything good about having MS or Lupus or one or more of a host of other diseases? Most readers know that this author lives with those two and more; but, many may not be aware that, about eight weeks ago (06/25/05), I experienced a deadly brain aneurysm and, ultimately, underwent the prescribed surgery.

The prognosis was not good: Dr. Sehkar advised my daughter that he did not think I would make it to surgery; but, if I did, the outcome would be either my death or in a perpetual coma or, at the very best, I would awaken but be paralyzed and unable to speak. Well, none of those things occurred. I was moving and talking when I awoke in recovery and the doctors— there were five on my neurosurgery team— declared me a miracle defying statistical odds. The huge aneurysm was above my right eye in the right temporal lobe, our motor center; in fact, it blew just as they were about to clamp it.

What surprised doctors even more was the fact I laid on my sofa for five days, without dying, before my neighbor Judy insisted on taking me to the hospital. Ironically, I had been diagnosed with degenerative vascular disease at age 23 and declared a candidate for major stroke or aneurysm or cerebral hemorrhage; thus, it was nothing short of a miracle I had made it to 61 before doctors’ predictions came true.

My doctors stated that most people don’t know they have a brain aneurysm until it’s too late. Asked what I thought was wrong with me, I responded, “a weird migraine.” It was different than any migraine I’d ever experienced, most of which pain I would have rated a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10 or like being hit by a Mac truck.

This headache, however, came on suddenly and unexpectedly; so, heed doctors’ warnings about sudden unusual headaches. Albeit, for several years prior to this event, I had experienced such headaches on a less intensive scale but they would pass, usually within 24 hours. In this case, however, it felt as though my ears inexplicably closed up to cause tremendous pressure.

Almost instantly, an explosive pain hit the base of my skull and engulfed my entire head, followed by what I can describe only as mini-explosions traveling down my spine all the way to the tailbone: I would learn that this latter was blood spilling from the brain into the spinal column. When asked to rate the pain, I compared it to being hit by a 747 jet plane; so big it makes a Mac truck look like a toy. This pain never stopped.

Still, I went into that hospital 5 days later declaring God’s protective wings over me and telling the doctors that very fact. And blessings? I’ve always been blessed by MS, Lupus, and even this aneurysm. Because God’s Holy Spirit has shown me God’s ways, I do not take man’s medications for the diseases or migraines and I eat as the book of Genesis indicates: all natural. So, I’ve been blessed with only episodes rather than steady decline.

As for the aneurysm, so many blessings came out of it that I hardly could count them all. I received calls from poet friends from all over the country as well as flowers. My daughter quickly arrived from Oregon and my ex-daughter-in-law flew in from Texas, this latter of whom I’d not seen in 11 years, though we often talk on the phone. My friend of over 40 years, Anita, flew up from Texas, my surrogate granddaughter from Florida and another from Texas. Local friends also surrounded me. I’m not sure I realized just how blessed I am with such a volume of friends and family until this happened. Even my son called the house from Texas!

My daughter took care of my finances, my home and gardens and my ferrets; then reported more blessings! She also went online to my various ministry websites to advise members and to ask for their prayers. María said the first two days she was here, the phone rang nonstop with calls inquiring after my health and stating what I meant spiritually to each caller from all over the world: Africa, Australia, England, Germany, New Zealand, Canada, and all across the United States. This astounded me, for I had no idea my mission for Christ had been having such an impact! What a blessing this was, for it confirmed that I must remain here to continue His work of spreading His Truth!

The obvious blessing, of course, was the fact God assured that I did not fit into any medical statistics! Obviously, Jesus is not ready for me to rest until shortly before His glorious return. The less obvious blessing in all the health issues I’ve grappled with since age 6, is each time Lucifer attacks my body, unbeknownst to him he confirms that I belong to our Father and our Saviour Christ. After all, Satan need not attack his own.

The greatest blessing, from my perspective, was from the beginning— even the five days I lay on my sofa— I considered this trauma an opportunity to witness of and for God and His Son Jesus: to my neighbor who was raised atheist, then the doctors and nurses and even my roommate, with whom I eventually shared a hospital room, and her son!

In the beginning, it was proposed that I might be feeling a bit of fear and, perhaps, even a slight panic. I recall speaking to Anita within minutes of the explosive event, during which time we immediately began praying: in effect, putting God in charge. Despite the most horrendous pain I’d ever felt in my life, I adamantly stated, “I’m not the least afraid or in a panic. What I feel is a foot-stomping rage at Satan! He screwed up my plans for the day!” Little did I know he’d actually messed up my plans for the year!

Another blessing was one of the doctors on my team, a young resident. Before surgery, I had advised them to note on my chart “DNR— do not resuscitate— and NO LIFE SUPPORT MACHINES.” When asked if I had that in writing, I responded pointedly, “No, but I have a background in law and each one of you is a witness to what I just said with my own mouth; therefore, you are legally bound to honor my wishes. Also, my children know this is my desire; so, if you don’t honor it, my daughter will be all over you like fleas on a dog!” The neurosurgeon grinned and instructed that my chart be so noted.

Nevertheless, that young resident was obviously troubled and visited my room several hours later to ask me why. I advised, “You nor any other man will bear the burden of my life or death. I shall live or die solely by the hand of God; and, I shall not have my family put through the trauma of life support machines, et cetera.” He pondered my words, then looked into my eyes with a soft smile and said, “I understand.” I know he did.

Of course, the doctors were a bit evasive after surgery when I told them the right side of my throat was sore, “Oh, well, we will put you on some antibiotics.” Naturally, it was sore because they did have me on a breathing machine during surgery and had removed it before I awoke. I had to laugh when my daughter told me this after I arrived back home weeks later; after all, that was typical procedure for this type of surgery. And, the only disservice those doctors did? Well, while they had my face pealed back, the least they could have done was give me a facelift in the bargain!

I am recovering slowly, living with pain for a while longer, still do not have full use of my right eye but it is opening a little more as time passes. I do know that if I had not gained strength and endurance over the previous two years, there would have been a very strong possibility that I would not yet be walking or the outcome could have been dramatically different.

So, I share with all of you: get plenty of exercise, fresh air and sunshine, eat healthy live foods, pay attention to anything unusual going on in your body. And, most of all, put your life in God’s capable hands: after all, He is the great physician, knows these bodies quite well as our Creator, is the giver and taker of life, and His timing is perfect.

UPDATE: 09/17/06— here it is fifteen months since the aneurysm and, until four weeks ago, I had been progressing just fine: within two months of the surgery I was mowing the acre of lawn, maintaining gardens, driving and shopping, etc. Today, my right eye is completely restored. Satan is so enraged, however, that he has yet to succeed in shutting my mouth for God: he’s been attempting to kill me since I was six years old.

Thus, on August 20th, he broke my back: he thought surely this would stop the Truth I spread for God. After all, surely I would not be able to walk or sit at my computer and, surely, I finally would curse God. As I had done when I went down with the aneurysm, I went down this time saying, “You are NOT winning this round, either, Satan!” And, I immediately began speaking with my Lord. And, as with the aneurysm, I was outside and had collapsed where no one would have seen me, muchless have heard my screams for help. And, once again, God got me up and as far as my neighbor’s house. She heard my cries for help and came running.

The first option the doctors gave was surgery. “We aren’t going there,” I said. So, two weeks in a nursing home for rehab. “Well, we aren’t going there, either. I have to be at home to care for my ferrets.” The final option was to test pain medication to see if it would allow me to walk with a walker. It worked and I came home the same evening.

My daughter arrived two days later and I began chiropractic treatments (low impact, he works above and below the break to keep everything else in alignment). Immediately, Lupus kicked in to shut down my digestive system, bowels, and a severe bladder infection developed virtually over night. A 3-day round of antibiotic was in order. For the other problems, I knew which herbs I needed and I’m taking them. It is now 4 weeks down the road and I am doing very well, having weaned myself off all meds except late evening for pain. I hope to have that dose eliminated shortly; after which, I will put myself through the colon cleanse program to get all those drug toxins out of my body. And, my ministries never even felt the wrench Satan attempted to throw into the works.

Like Paul, I’d rather have adversities and illnesses and persecutions than to lose Christ within me and the Holy Spirit who empowers me; though incredibly unworthy I am, I remain eternally grateful that God would choose this sinful Eve to be one of His handmaidens. He changed me completely from the inside out. I am especially awed that He even bestowed incredible gifts of the Spirit upon me, a mere unworthy woman.

Remember God’s words, “I do not bring these adversities upon you, but if you will give them to me, I will turn them into blessings.” He has done just that for me each and every time Satan rears his ugly head.

God is good, God is faithful, God keeps His promises, and He has never let me down. Give your whole life to Him and He will never let you down. May all of you readers be as blessed as I have been blessed!

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17 September 2006 - Posted by | Bible, Blessings, Brain Aneurysms, Christ, Christian, Christianity, Faith, God, Grace, Health, Jesus, Lupus, MS, Spiritual, Testimonies


  1. Amazing! God has and continues to work glorious miracles in your life! He is truly by your side!
    After reading this article, I was left in awe at the presence of God in your life, and immediately stopped to give Him the glory. May God continue to bless you with the health that allows you to continue to do His will!
    This entry is wonderfully moving. It is inspirational. It encourages readers to always hold onto their faith and never give up on hope in God!

    This entry reminded me of the following powerful quote from the book of Proverbs.
    “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

    You stated that you eat as the book of Genesis indicates: all natural. What is your take on what the Bible instructs us to eat in today’s world, where the majority of food is heavily processed and pesticized?

    God bless,


    Comment by Steve | 18 September 2006 | Reply

  2. Thank you so much, Greg, for your kind words and encouragement. God is good, so keep writing the spiritual poetry! We should avoid the negative, for it always comes from Satan, our mortal enemy.

    I’ve lived with pain since age 6, thus hardly know what it is to be pain free. However, the Holy Spirit always gives me periodic breaks from the battle; and, a battle it is. You might want to read my post entitled, “Is Healing of a Christian’s Body a Given.” I believe I posted that one in August. I feel that it will give you a wonderfully new perspective about your circumstances and the pain. I know the Spirit’s message in that article made a dramatic change in how I view the “thorns in my side.” 🙂

    Much love, prayers and hugs,

    Comment by bonnieq | 18 September 2006 | Reply

  3. Thanks for your encouraging words.

    I visited your site and read your posting for 09/17. I am happy to see that you are making a virtue out of adversity.

    I am disabled from a paragliding accident. I lost my career and I’m in chronic pain. Life pretty well sucked for a long time. Then I started writing poetry. I have no idea if it’s any good, but I am finaly doing somthing I like to do.

    I’ve written a lot of poems that drip with bitterness and pain. That may be cathartic, but writing spiritual poetry is more uplifting.

    It is wonderful that you are sustained by the Holy Spirit within you. Faith can result in miracles.

    Comment by Greg Landheim | 18 September 2006 | Reply

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