SEVENTH SEAL LIBRARY

God's Truth Not Smooth Words

Extra Oil Update 31: News Coping with Deaths

Earth IS reeling to and fro like a drunkard: News, Hurricane, Earthquake, Economy, Depression, H1N1, Cancer, Obesity, Gay Rights, Priest Parent, Panic, Grief, Deaths 

 

Prophecy’s Extra Oil Update 31: News Coping With Deaths
copyright 2009 Bonita M Quesinberry

News 11/11-11/13: 3.0 days in “terrors of these end days;”

NATURE:  IDA, El Salvador death toll up to 200; INDONESIA, another quake; US, southeast flooding from Ida w/winds higher than Gulf of Mexico landfall, Atlantic seaboard swamped w/8-ft waves, VA, NJ floods kill 5, east coast bracing for more floods w/new storm off coast, funnels in Oregon/Washington w/more storms moving in, more snow opens Ski Resorts earlier than ever; TANZANIA, landslide kills 20; CHINA, heavy snows kill 21; AZ, Scottsdale multi-million mansion burned to ground; NASA discovers water on moon; No research done for recent volcanic/earthquake activity;

HEALTH: H1N1 death toll jumps from 1000 last week to about 3900 increase by including deaths with underlying complications, includes 540 kids, CDC says unprecedented are 22-million US contracted H1N1 in last 6-mo. of those only 98-k were/are hospitalized, Amer people losing confidence in H1N1 battle, second vaccine supplier FDA approved, 42.6-mil vaccine doses distributed— excellent natural remedy that works when taken immediately as first symptoms present, Asafetida by Nature’s Answer, link below; 90% of seasonal flu deaths are over age 65, swine flu are about 90% below age 65; global reports still not forthcoming; CANCER, 100-K cases annually linked to obesity, obese bodies produce more estrogen often linked to cancer;

ECONOMY: experts say US in full blown depression, FED cracks down on bank overdraft fees, 3 large companies cut jobs by 1200, 1500, and 2500, all US States cutback more Gov jobs yet approve tax hikes, 10-States face massive budget shortfalls; NV, statewide 42% children homeless, 5000 in Las Vegas; PANIC amidst unemployed, make reckless $ decisions, men killing entire family/self across US; CHASE bank to hire 1200 loan officers; BANKS, 5 more fail, big banks in no rush to pair up; OBAMA visits 4 Asia nations to discuss economy, global climate change; URGENT watch clouds, pray for people all over the world— Think about it: 2 years is a very short time, but it could be less, even today; so do as Jesus said, “Pray unceasing” . . .

WARS: PAKISTAN, traffic blast kills “at least” 26; separate Bomb blast kills 17, “scores” wounded; BAGHDAD, 2 killed; KOREA, skirmish between north and south navies; TAILAND Cambodia tensions worsen; US alert over German al Qaeda threat; KABUL, bomb blast outside US base kills 2; FT. HOOD, Hasan off ventilator, waist down paralyzed, asks military for an out for Muslim soldiers, says he expected to be killed, chg’d w/13 counts premeditated murder, death penalty likely; 

LAWLESS: 10-yo boy shoots dad in head in front of 6yo sister, charged w/1st degree murder; MO, search on for bodies in child sex abuse case, 6 arrested oldest in 70s; AR, 5 bodies found; CO, Vail, bar shooting kills 1, wounds 3; Man attempts to extort $ from Cindy Crawford, husband; Elderly Mexican man charged in “witch” murder;

MOTHER/DAUGHTERS: LDS, Utah Mormon church supports gay rights; Franciscan priest fathers son 22yrs ago, church document swore mother to secrecy in exchange for $ support, son dying of cancer, church refuses aid despite mother now w/cancer;

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Coping With Death
©copyright 2006/2009 Bonita M Quesinberry

There likely will not be one person who reads this article that cannot identify with emotions involved in losing a loved one: grief spans the range of anger, guilt, sadness, feeling a part of oneself missing, depression, to the dreaded “if onlys” and “should haves” and, yes, even shame. It should be pointed out, however, that such grief also presents itself when couples divorce along with a sense of failure; advice applies to them as well.

UPDATE: Included here, considering 2008-09 job losses and a global economic depression, is the fact that people in these situations go through the same grieving process, sense of failure and shame; too many today having moved beyond grief and shame into panic mode compounded by a normal sense of anger having built into full blown rage: a fact seen in US news every day. Keep this in mind while reading about myriad emotions felt over the death of a loved one; it may help to better understand and emotionally support a spouse or friend who has been unemployed far longer than ever dreamed possible in what was once the richest nation in the world.

I am especially familiar with the emotions we go through when death strikes in our life; whether it is the loss of a parent or sibling or a child, each of which I have experienced far more than once. I also experienced those same emotions when I moved from Texas to Washington and suddenly found my lucrative career background meant nothing; I had to rebuild: not easy. God is the only one who got me through these losses wholly intact.

I recall each emotion felt when my daughter, Angeliqué Desireé, passed away seven days to the hour after having been bitten by a brown recluse spider; at the time, just recently having infiltrated Texas from Mexico. The only emotions I didn’t feel were anger, neither at man nor God, or guilt; the former because I didn’t blame anyone, especially not God, and felt no guilt as I didn’t blame myself. After all, our Texas home was exterminated each year, never saw a single bug; and, she was instantly hospitalized with everything that could be done having been done, including a lot of prayer.

This was when I learned the great lesson: death is no respecter of age. You know, Jesus actually demonstrated this by dying at the age of 33 plus a few months; and, even the Old Testament reveals the deaths of many children at myriad ages. Keep in mind: it does not matter how this flesh dies; whether to natural causes or man’s intervention. When it is our time, it is our time . . . to rest. No matter the circumstances, God has the final say.

It was worse when, a year and a half later, my daughter Contrina Moníque died in my arms at home. GUILT: the overriding emotion spawned by a feeling of helplessness as I frantically tried everything to revive her and nothing worked. Back then we didn’t have 911 and no one was teaching CPR to mothers; this latter of which I had tried to execute but didn’t have a clue as to how to do it right. I also did not understand, during the horrors of those seemingly endless moments, what actually had happened to Contrina.

God was merciful to me this time: He immediately put my mind into a state of shock for six weeks, rendering me oblivious to everything and everyone around me; including my older two children, then nine and four, and for whom family cared during this second crisis. But, when shock lifted, I was flooded with guilt: surely there had been something I could have done to save her life.

Surely I had not done enough or moved fast enough. And, you can well imagine how I felt when I learned that my efforts at CPR were not done properly. Oh, the blame and guilt! Of course, there was nothing I could have done; for Contrina had died of acute congestive heart failure with simultaneous involuntary expulsion of fluids from her lungs, which collapsed in the process. She had seen her cardiologist just the week before, who was ecstatic over how well she was doing and had declared her lungs clear.

GUILT also comes about in those who have nursed an ill loved one for a long time, sometimes almost overwhelmed by the wish that they would die; whether for your sake or their sake or both. This is normal! Caregiving loved ones is an exhausting and, often, thankless job; all the more reason someone should share responsibility, if for no other reason than for the primary caregiver to have at least two days off each week. Shed this guilt, for it does not mean you did not love the ill person; just means you’re worn out.

Angeliqué was 30 days old when she expired: born a robust, healthy eight pounds, seven and a quarter ounces. Contrina was six months old; albeit born premature by weight, three pounds two ounces, with a congenital heart defect due to intrauterine malnutrition from a crimp in the umbilical cord: the heart issue not discovered until a week after her arrival home from hospital after five weeks required to get her up to at least five pounds.

With each daughter’s death, there were well-meaning people who said, “At least it didn’t happen after you’d had her for many years.” These are people who have not lost a child, so they have no concept of the devastation a parent feels, regardless of a child’s age. Within a year of Contrina’s death, a friend’s 9yo son died of a seizure. She grabbed me into her arms when I arrived at the funeral home, her complaint similar to the above as she said, “I knew you would understand!”

I am reminded of Anna Nicole Smith’s loss of twenty-year-old son Daniel. People had said, “At least you had him for twenty years; it’s not like you’d had him for only a few months.” That is such a cruel thing to say to any mother, because it makes no difference if a child is one month old or six years or twenty or even fifty years: it is a devastating loss to parents! Once held in your arms, fed and nurtured for however long or briefly, a bond is instantly forged with a child.

The next loss was my 58-year old mother to suicide: a deliberate overdose of prescribed narcotics. I did feel a split second of anger when the news came by phone: not at her but at my stepfather, whom I had warned just the year before that, if he took her out of my home, where doctors had placed her, she would be dead within a year. All my life Mother was addicted; and, for those same years, suicide attempts had been the norm. Praise the Lord, by then I understood more about death according to God and that my mother had been spared further suffering.

I also understood almost instantly that no one, not even my stepfather, could have prevented mother from doing what she did. Despite the circumstances, I did not go through the “if only I’d done” this or that or “I should have” whatever; for I had done everything humanly possible to get mother off drugs, including having a mental health warrant served in order to get her hospitalized.

A year later my biological father’s died with cancer, after I had moved to Washington. Five years later, my beloved stepfather died of cancer. Then, my only sibling, a brother younger by 13 months, died of Agent Orange related cancer; a horrifying 30 days that I would not wish upon any human being. I was so ill at the time that I could not make the trip to Texas to be with him: a disappointment to us both.

This was especially painful, despite talking with him every day; but, what hurt the most was when my foster sister, who was with him throughout the 30 day nightmare, told me the last words he spoke were to call out my name twice just seconds before he died. In some ways, I was angry with my brother, for a short while; because I knew there were many things he could have done long ago to prevent an early death: God being the first and foremost ingredient he had needed.

Then, of course, there is the natural grieving; the missing of that person’s presence in our lives: despite the fact we might understand he or she is far better off than even we who still live. It is an emotion that feels like, “How dare you abandon me!” It is a form of selfishness, wanting that person nearby under any circumstances; yet, contrarily not wishing any suffering upon him or her. This also causes a sense of guilt and even a feeling of shame. It truly feels like a catch-22 from which seems an endless trap.

When I lost two daughters, it helped immensely when doctors explained what my girls would have gone through had they survived the causes: I knew instantly I would not want them to have suffered so terribly for many, if not all, the years of their lives. In my mind, it was bad enough they had suffered for the time each of them did.

Guilt is the most insane of the emotions associated with loss. If experiencing guilt, we should ask ourselves, “Who made me God?” After all, God is the only giver and taker of life, which decisions He makes in each patient’s best interest: so, in reality, it is arrogant to think we can do anything to save another person’s life. While God does not kill a person or cause health issues that kill, only He decides whether or not the patient will continue to live.

In each loss, I can say with absolute clarity that God’s final decision definitely was in the best interest of each of my loved ones. If everyone would take an honest look at what their loved ones suffered or currently are suffering and would have or will continue to suffer if they had or do live, everyone would realize God always acts in everyone’s best interest. He sees the bigger picture and we need to seek His insight.

Throughout each loss, many of God’s Words came to me; a scripture here, a passage there, each one lending comfort and understanding. I recalled, from a young age, hearing, “Weep at a birth and rejoice at a death.” I have only to look at our world’s staggering condition of collapse to understand both the former and latter. We each were brought into a sick, dying world filled with darkness and wickedness that relentlessly attacks us from every side. Then, we bring in our own children; so that, today, I can say I would not want to be raising children in such a vile cesspool.

God speaks of “twice dead”: the first death, which is just the flesh body we inhabit, is something to rejoice about, for it means we finally have been set free of both the body’s extreme limitations as well as Satan’s constant hammering and cruelty; set free to rest the most peaceful rest we will have ever known during our lifetime. Jesus said over and over, it is not death; it is a sleep from which, one day, the dead will be awakened.

God even said, in paraphrase, “Do you not know I have spared your beloved dead from the terrors of these end days?” As my duty to God is to observe and report this world waxing worse and worse according to His prophecies, I am especially comforted by this passage in Isaiah; knowing that my loved ones have been spared, especially my two daughters; but it pains me that my two surviving children living through this darkness surrounding us. Prophecy warned that, in this last church age, the wicked wax worse and worse; so, I am grateful that most of my loved ones have been spared the worst to come. Another reason to rejoice in their deaths.

God expects us to grieve, even allowing a short time to grieve; after which, He expects us to go about living and tending to the living. In my case, I had two other children and a husband; but, even if I’d had no one, God expected me to continue living for Him and in His service. In Anna Nicole Smith’s case, she had a new baby daughter who desperately needed Anna’s full attention and so did the man at her side. It doesn’t matter whether we lose a spouse or parent or child or sibling, we must continue on; for if we do not, we cause the life of the deceased to have had no meaning. It is in living that we validate their life, however brief or however long it might have been.

One truth is that we never really get over our losses. Yes, with time, the loss is less painful; but anything at anytime can cause a memory flash or an event in our life can cause us to almost pick up the phone to speak with our departed parent or sibling or best friend. My daughters died in 1970 and 1971; yet, all these years later I can see their beautiful faces and hear them in my mind at the oddest times.

My mother died in 1986, yet there still are days when I wish I could call her to tell her about some event in my life. My brother died in 2003, still there are times when I hear his deep voice saying, “Hello,” as though I’m supposed to know who is calling. Of course, I did know; but I chuckle today about him never saying, “Hello, your brother here!”

Love continues, even when we lose a loved one; therefore, the memories always are with us to be embraced and talked about, the latter of which aids in healing. Healing truly can begin when we focus on the good memories, the ones of joy and laughter, or reliving again various wisdoms our loved one spoke to us over the course of years; expounding on how we came to understand those wisdoms. If we dwell too long on “my loss,” it becomes insane and everyone around us— loved ones still living— begin to suffer:  we have, in effect, emotionally abandoned them and emotionally crippling them. It is crucial to avoid pity parties, for then it is all about “self” instead of the beloved departed.

For someone who has lost a spouse, it is very important to get involved in his or her community as soon as possible; doing volunteer or charitable work, working a job, anything that gets the one left behind out and about and among the living. Even doing some traveling with friends is good. Losing a spouse is especially difficult, for this is truly when feels as though half of self was ripped away, leaving us seemingly only half a person: all the more reason to validate the life of a departed spouse by going out to do good for others. This is to create living memories, or living memorials if you will. LIVE FOR GOD, JESUS AND THE LIVING! LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE.

Article published 2006, MSMusings Ezine, highest rated eZine by and for Multiple Sclerosis (MS) patients:  http://www.msmusings.com

++++++++++++++++++++++

——Watch the clouds between mid-October to mid-November henceforth until no later than 2011. The book of Hebrews says Jesus will not be late. If not fully converted now, time is your enemy; total conversion must be instant, this day, TODAY: do not delay. Pray unceasing! Be watchful; stand fast even to death. WE HAVE GOD’S POWER. KEEP WALKING and TALKING, even when it seems useless: you might snatch one lost, lukewarm sheep from the flames and give the warmth of God’s Truth to a cold waiting for it. Saith the Lord, “Ye lukewarm await consuming fire.”

——TSaS post archives open to public; members access Bible Lesson FILES. TSaS ministry neither needs nor asks for money and never will: God provides our basic needs. We ask only for prayer and that you share God’s Truth with all who will hear/read and obey in “the instant.” Be good stewards of God’s Word: share Extra Oils, lead everyone to God’s Biblical Truth at — http://groups.yahoo.com/group/truthseekersandspeakers

Much Love in Christ, Sister BonnieQ
http://seventhseal.webs.com Unicorn Haven’s Seventh Seal Library http://www.naturesanswer.com to order Asafetida, also spelled Asafoetida, if not in product list send email to ask about getting it (my local health food store gets it for me)

 

 

Advertisements

13 November 2009 - Posted by | Armageddon, Bible, Bible Related Articles, Bible Study, Book Reviews, Christ, Christianity, Christs Return, Church, Death, Diety, Divinity, Economy, End Times, Escatology, Evil, Faith, Gays, God, Government Abuse, Grace, Groom, Health, Hebrews, Holy Spirit, Homosexuality, Islam, Jehovah, Jesus, Jews, Lord's Day, Love, Mark, Memorial, Muslims, Nature, News, Polygamy, Prayer Requests, Prayers, Prophecy, Prophets, Quran, Redemption, Religion, Remnant, Resurrection, Sabbath, Salvation, Saturday, Seal, Sign, Spiritual, Spiritual Study, Sunday, Teachers, Ten Commandments, Theology, Token, Truth, World | ,

2 Comments »

  1. […] See the original post here:  Extra Oil Update 31: News Coping with Deaths […]

    Pingback by Valuable Internet Information » Extra Oil Update 31: News Coping with Deaths | 13 November 2009 | Reply

  2. […] confidence in H1N1 battle, second vaccine supplier FDA approved, 42 View original post here: Extra Oil Update 31: News Coping with Deaths Posted in h1n1 deaths. Tags: coping-with, death-toll, earthquake, includes-540, priest-parent, […]

    Pingback by Extra Oil Update 31: News Coping with Deaths | H1N1DEATHS.US | 13 November 2009 | Reply


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: